A Mad Family and its Incorrigible Ernie Kitten

Conversation at dinner tonight.

Ana:  He put a hole in ma Captain America shield.

Evan: He put a hole in ma sleep.


That cat is mad. No joke. Two o’clock this morning and a let Steve intae ma                               room. A knew it was Steve cos she scratches the door (he jist scratches at the carpet).           She jist runs in. Doesnae even look. And a stood there at the bedroom door and could             jist see this wee black head keekin’ roon the stair wall. Man that cat jist terrorises                   Steve


Ana (indignant): Aye a know. He terrorises ma villagers*.

When does he get – you know [giggles] – his things off?


Me: Next week. He’s not that bad. He’s a wee angel. It’s that fat Steve is a pest.

AnaDon’t say that about my Stevie baby.

Jamie: Ana. Ana. Thought you said your door didnae close right?

AnaAye Jamie. That’s right Jamie. A hud tae jam it wi’ the bongo drums.



Note to self: Phone the vet on Monday. That cat needs to be neutered.

But there’s no similarly easy remedy for this family’s madness.

*Ana’s room is festooned with Sylvanian families. Ernie – the kitten – loves the Sylvanians more than she loves the Sylvanians. Ernie’s favourite game is ‘steal the Sylvanian’ – and he can regularly be found with a mouth full of animal characters that he’s en route to hiding somewhere.



2 thoughts on “A Mad Family and its Incorrigible Ernie Kitten

  1. We had a cat that forced me awake at 1:30 regularly to go out and open the stair back door while he stared into the darkness. Then moving round the building he appears at the front door, stands half way through it glaring at nothing then returns to bed.
    I don’t miss this experience these days.

    • Ha! That is a perfect description of their infuriating night time behaviour!
      I’m pointedly ignoring what it says about me – but it’s that same infuriating, opaque, obtuseness I’ve always rather liked about them…

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