You are not in control Mrs S…

I am pissed off. Cross. Crabbit. Mighty big pissed off. This ageing lark is now interfering. It is taking over. Ugh.

I’ve been pretty louche. I’ve not given a damn. I’ve given into temptation and not suffered too many twinges – of guilt or health or purse-strain. Hedonism (mostly small scale, not too risque, of the full fat, nicotine-stained, alcohol-fuelled abandonment strain) is me – I used to think.

It’s all catching up.

With a family medical history like Death’s reference book of Ways to Go – cancer (bowel, stomach, throat, lung, prostate (ok, so no threat to me there), womb); heart disease; high blood pressure; hypercholestrolaemia; diabetes; pancreatitis; depression et al – I knew that the odds were that I’d get one or other of the above and shuffle off early.

This knowledge is probably why I never could take pension advice seriously. And why I always gave into temptation. Life’s too short I’d say, then do whatever thing it was that I knew sensible people wouldn’t do.

But the years are piling on. They are loading my arteries with fat and my lungs with tar and my liver and pancreas are screaming ENOUGH and I’m facing ‘the truth’: that I need to lose weight; stop smoking (for real, everyday); never touch another alcoholic beverage and that even if I do all of that I’ll still need to take the tablets.

I have inherited the hypercholestrolaemia. I am now diabetic. And I have a referral to the Breast Clinic to investigate a lump I found a month back and which I was convinced would go away but which hasn’t.

It’ll be fine. I’m sure. One way or another. But it’s all just too grown up and old. Momento Mori. My reminder of the shortness of this life. A reprimand. My personal admonition: you are not in control Mrs S – life is.

12 thoughts on “You are not in control Mrs S…

  1. Or you could just blow a rig of dope and forget all about it. 🙂

    No…better not.

    You can lose weight, you can quit smoking, you can control diabetes and even breast cancer can be licked. You'll probably come out the other end feeling youthful.

    Go curse out your husband, slam some cabinets, beat the kids…get it out of your system…then get started.

  2. You will be fine. It's making up your mind to give up all the good stuff that's hard. I had a month of healthy eating and no wine in November & it wasn't that bad. Could fit into my clothes again for Christmas. Planning the same for February when all the goodies are gone. And good luck with the mammogram.

  3. Hahaha e.f. funny you should mention that dope… 😉

    Yeah – you're right. I can and will lose the extra poundage. And I've plenty practice at quitting smoking – so chances are I'll succeed. And my pal has just licked the big bad breast C.

    I caught myself being a whining miserable cow today – thankfully it was a car journey soliloquy so naebody else heard it… It started something like 'It's not fair cos I'm not even THAT fat; I don't smoke THAT many…' and ended when I caught sight of my moaning face in the mirror.

    You made me smile e.f. – a great reminder of why it's all worth it if ever I needed one. 🙂

  4. Thanks Mairead. I'll let you know how it all goes.

    I've been 'good' since getting the results of the blood tests. Nothing like the humiliation of a fat middle-aged doctor telling a fat middle-aged patient to lose weight and quit the naughty stuff to make you sit up and take note. 😀

    Well done November you. I'm looking at low carb recipes just now – apparently better for diabetics. But if you've any tips or recipes send them my way. Yx

  5. Well trust you to go the whole hog!

    And while you're doing all the things you need to do – just think – you've had all that fun for all those years!

    Best wishes for putting everything back on track…(for your liver you could try milk thistle which is a great detox).
    You'll be out the other side better than ever.
    We know you will.

  6. Haha! Helen. I'm not one to do things by halfs… unless it's whisky of course…

    But I did, indeed, have much fun 🙂

    I'll get the milk thistle tomorrow. I'd determined to go to the health food shop – so that'll be first on my list.


  7. You are allowed a good old moan sometines and alone in the car sounds a good place.

    Yes to milk thistle. Wonderful for cleansing the liver. Yes to the new healthy lifestyle too.

    But I think you need to build in some treats for yourself too so I am prescribing a gorgeous aromatherapy massage at least once a month, starting next week. At my most stressed I found a wonderful aromatherapist and she worked wonders. And no calories consumed!

    You are such a positive person Yvonne and a fighter too so keep us posted on your fitness campaign. Xx.

  8. Oh rats, Yvonne – it never rains etc…. I gave up smoking many years ago now and believe me, you won't regret it, providing you manage not to eat to compensate. Let chewing gum be your friend for a while. As for the breast lump, try to hold on to the fact that nine out of ten referrals to the breast clinic turn out to be benign. Good luck. You know you can do it!

  9. Hey Jane – I LOVE aromatherapy massage! I've not gone for such a long time – couple of years at least – mostly because the woman I went to moved away and I couldn't find someone to replace her. But I'll ask around – there are a couple of new places in Lanark which might be good. 🙂
    The new regime is actually going well.
    It's terribly early days of course – but I actually feel better for having cut out stodgy carbs like bread. I feel more awake. Which is strange but welcome.
    Hope all well with you Jane. I've been thinking of you! Yx

  10. You did comment Perpetua – I was certain I'd published it too but maybe not… I am hopeless with this Blogger!
    The 90% statistic is the one thing that is keeping me sane – though I have to admit that this diet I am on doesn't actually feel like deprivation… I am beginning to feel better than I have for a while! Every cloud has a silver lining Perpetua… 🙂 x

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